I think I'm getting into a Winter-like frame of mind. My mood always changes with the weather. I grow silent and kind of pensive. Very unusual in me. I think I'm at my best at the end of the Spring and in the Summer. Fall and Winter are just not my seasons. I imagine it has to do with being, well.. so tropical.
I miss the sun and the warmth of Spring and Summer. The flowers, the grass, the way a nice breeze makes you feel good. All that and more. I do like snow and the pretty colors of the Fall, but I think my spirit shrinks a little and I have to actively cheer me up. Is it the cold that I always feel in my fingertips or my perpetually cold ears? It may also have to do with the fact that The Fall semester has always been the one I feel goes by more slowly. Is it because I don't like making New Year resolutions? Is it because he always goes away for two weeks and I'm left on my own with my thoughts, my books, my present and my past? Is it the pretty and lethal snow? Or is it just that I, like so many other people crave daylight and get the Winter Blues?
I don't know, but I hope this year everything is better.
I just had my friends Chris and Mike from Pittsburgh over and I had a great time. We laughed, bitched and camped it up to high hell. I think that also has to do with my WB: most of my closest friends are not here. They have either graduated or in other states. And sometimes I feel a little lonely. Among all the people I know, I feel a little lonely. I think even though I have confessed being a loner, I still like having some people around. Not any person, but some people I consider close to me. Close in a sense that they can finish my sentences, guess my mood and surprise me with something silly that I secretely wanted.
I think this year, knowing what it coming, I'll just make my oyster comfortable and will prepare for the New Year and all that Jazz. I'll try and look at the things I've done that have ruled and congratulate myself and at the mistakes that have sucked withouth beating myself too hard over them. I will get some movies I want to watch and some books I want to read and will dedicate those ten days to myself.
Isn't this what being a grown-up is? Reflecting and learning about our own lives? I think the idea do this blog has been grand. I don't have your gift with words but these thoughts do help me put my life and times in perspective and see what I've done and what I'm doing from other perspective. I think I have had little time go go inside myself the way I do with this blog. I have no idea if you read it and it really doesn't matter anymore. After all, if I have a penchant for deleting my comments you have one for never posting them to start with. But as I told you, it doesn't matter anymore. Even though you are the only one who could more or less understand what I'm writing about.
Just sent you the answer to your questions. Hope your paper comes out right. I know it will. You're good with words, baby boy. Very good.
Cheers! And see you around.
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